12 Things That Drain Your Energy: Fueling Drama

Hello Beautiful People!

I started a series called “12 Things That Drain Your Energy”.  One of these twelve things is Fueling Drama.  This hit home for me just recently.  Anyone who knows me, knows that I don’t care for drama, and I will distance myself from it as quickly as possible.  I won’t have an issue telling anyone about it as well!  This has become even more important for me since I’ve begun this journey into Ascension.  I strive to keep as much positive energy around me, and Drama = Negativity!

I’d like to share a few things with you concerning fueling drama along with some tips.  

  • Minimize your own drama by identifying the source.  As with any experience, pay attention to when , where, and how you find yourself in or having drama.  Is it same time, same place, or same people?  
  • Think before you act.  Don’t react to something that does not need to be dealt with.  Catch your breathe before responding.  Ask yourself (1) “Is this really making me upset?”, (2) “Does this person really understand they’re upsetting me?”, and (3) “Do I wan to feed this negtive energy?”.
  • Allow yourself to feel upset, a moment.  Don’t marinate in it!
  • Don’t allow your emotions to produce an attack.  This could make things worst.
  • Don’t “tit for tat” or try to get revenge.
  • Let that negative energy go.  Try to come up with positive solutions.

Be weary of gossip.  Remember the more people that become involved or a part of your life, the more conflict there may be.  Balancing your friendships and relations can become crucial.  Mind your business!  Focus on yourself, and speak honestly.  One thing I’ve learned recently is that you have to avoid giving unsolicited advice.  You may have experienced something and have gained knowledge that could help someone, but that doesn’t matter!  Don’t offer it unless it is being asked for.  I’ve done this, and the person turned it against me while throwing a ‘pity party’.  

Know when ‘enough is enough’.  The minute you see the potential for drama to arise, nip that in the bud! Draw a line in the sand!  There’s no law against that.  This can also deter a person from gossiping which could lead to drama.  You know the saying “misery loves company”?  It’s the motto of the drama maker!  Along with making assumptions.  

I’m a fair person.  I consider myself mild tempered as well.  But when I see that someone is trying to cause confusion which could bring drama into my environment, I completely separate myself.  I build a wall, and it’s very hard for me to bring it down.  Hope this helps you guys.  Look forward to your comments!


Remember to Stay POSITIVE, Stay MOTIVATED, and Be BLESSED!





Finding Your Positive Place

I’ve always been a “happy go lucky” kind of person.  I love to laugh and joke around with friends and family.  In high school I was name “Ms. Humorous” by my Senior Class.  I’ve always tried to look at things for the good that it could be.  But over the past ten years or so, I have not been so well off.  I look back at time and realize I’ve had bouts of depression and didn’t even know it!  Over this past year I have traveled through a different type of storm.

I’m living in a place where there are other tenants.  I am the House Manager, and I’ve carried on a burden of more than I wish to have.  I fell in a slump.  I  began to lose sight of what my goals were and how to achieve them.  I felt myself slowly falling.  I had to get back to my old self.  So as I do with almost everything else, I ventured out and I began to research.  I’d like to share with you how I got myself back to my Positive Place!

I stumbled upon Meditation, and one of the key elements of being able to truly meditate is to find a place that makes you happy.  I had to clear my mind of all thoughts especially negative ones.  So my first suggestion to finding your positive place is to remove negative things or people, and step back to reflect on what good things you can find as replacements.

Try to place yourself in positive environments as often as you can.  Evaluate and identify the negative people or things around you.  What places do you frequent that bring negative energy into your life?  Find things or people that support and lift you up.  Create a network of genuine people.  Be realistic though, not everyone will be for you.

It’s okay to take risks and learn lessons from them.  Let nothing hold you back for example, Fear, People, and Situations.  Just make sure not to repeat the lessons with negative outcomes!

Don’t be afraid to look for opportunities, because you can find the good in a bad situation.  Try not to blow things out of proportion.  Sometimes you have to step away a bit before trying to focus on the situation.  Again walk away for a while and then come back and try to refocus on the situation and find a resolution.


Trying doing positive things for others and not just yourself.  Just like smiling when you’re down can make you feel better , so does seeing the positive effect doing something good for someone else can. Think about it.  If doing something for someone makes them feel good, you’ll feel good, and the energy around you will be charged with positively!

Be grateful for even the little things.  Try keeping a Gratitude Journal.  You can evaluate where you truly need to be by simply revealing to yourself of the things that you are and could be grateful for.  It tends to place one’s thoughts into a better perspective.

I had to give myself a daily checklist.  I started my day with a positive affirmation.  Actually, I say my affirmation for any situation possible.  If I’m doing a project for someone else, interviewing for a certain thing, working out, and/or having a serious conversation with my kids.  Your attitude in the morning can affect and predict how the rest of your day is going to be.

Instead of dwelling on the negative aspects while at home, I began going into my room and meditating.  I would play inspirational songs or songs that made me feel good!  I would call people that I know would and could cheer me up and motivate me back to where and what I should have been doing.  I began to feel better, and regardless of where I went in the house, or what was going on, I began to find myself feeling better and better about things.

Never hold anything in.  Negativity can and will start making your health deteriorate. Do your best to love YOU!  I hope this has been helpful to someone.


Remember to Stay POSITIVE, Stay MOTIVATED, and Be BLESSED!

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Millionaire and Billionaire African American Women That I Did Not Know

I’m at a point in my life where I’m slowly finding myself becoming elevated.  But there are times when I feel helpless and doubt that the work that I’m doing is actually a benefit for me.  Often I see in Self-Help books and articles that I should surround myself with positive people and things.  It encourages finding mentors and people that can provide a good example of where and what I’m trying to achieve.  

I want to be a successful businesswoman, and a positive mentor to other women as well.  So I went searching for some motivation; something or someone that I could relate to, and in that process I came across four very interesting women.  These may be women you all may already know, but I wasn’t aware of them!

The first person is the youngest of the four.  Her name is Jade Colin, and she is 28 years old.  She is considered the youngest black female to ever purchase and own a McDonald’s Restaurant.  She opened her McDonald’s in 2016 at the age of 26.


Next is 44 year old Isabel Dos Santos.  Mrs. Santos is the youngest Black Billionaire in the world.  She is estimated at a net worth of 2.7 billion dollars.  Her wealth is attributed to Diversified Investments and Inheritance from her father. 





Forty-eight year old Kiko Davis is one of two women in the world to own their own bank, and she is the only African American in the U.S. to have a bank.  Her bank is called First Independence Bank.  She is also the Founder and President of the Don Davis Legacy Foundation, named after her late husband.


Last but not least is 66 year old Folorunsho Alakija.  She is a Nigerian Oil Tycoon, Fashion Designer, and Philanthropist.  She is the owner of Famfa Oil.  Her net worth is at an estimated 3.3 billion!


I really enjoyed learning about these beautiful and successful women.  It helped me place my motivation back where it needed to be!  All of these women give reverence to courage, prayer, and surrounding yourself with positive people and genuine mentors.  I know there are other African American women out there that are just as successful, but I wanted to shine the light on a few I feel have not been mentioned enough.


I hope this can be  a witness to “any” woman out there, regardless of race and stature, that we can accomplish anything we set our minds to.  Keep your goals in front of you.  Make plans to accomplish these goals.  Surround yourself with a support system that lifts you up and provides constructive criticism.  

As always remember to Stay POSITIVE, Stay MOTIVATED,  and Be BLESSED!!

The Art Of Making A Podcast

What exactly is a Podcast?

A podcast is a digital audio file available as a series, which can be downloaded automatically or subscribed.  I’ve only been recording Podcasts for a few months, so I’m no expert, but I’ve listened to many.  I’ve decided to share with you what knowledge I’ve obtained , and my experience in starting my own podcast.

I’ve listened to Comedy Shows, Television Series, and even Church Services on podcasts. My all time favorite has been Ghost Stories.  I really had no intent on doing a Podcast until one day an associate invited me to do a collaboration with him.  Of course, I didn’t want to go in to this blinded not knowing what to do, so I decided to try it out myself first.

What tools are needed to start a Podcast?

Here’s 10 items that you may need in order to start a Podcast:

  • Good microphone
  • Headphones – so you can hear what you’re saying
  • Pop Filter – to ease the loudness of the sounds “p” and “t”
  • A Boom – helps with holding and positioning the mic
  • Skype – excellent sound quality
  • Recording & Editing Software – editing
  • ID3 Editor – store your podcasts
  • Hosting Acct – i.e Libsyn and Soundcloud
  • Design Software – not really necessary
  • A Vanity URL – to allow your listeners to give reviews

Now let me say this: I did not purchase any of these things to do my podcast.  Most of these things are for those who have an actual Physical Forum for podcasting, and/or may have a live audience or guests.  An example of what I mean is people who have live Radio Talk Shows etc.  It would be really hard to have or interview more than one person with just a cellular phone!

I do all my podcasts on the Mobile App called Anchor.  It’s simple and easy.  Like any app, there’s a profile for you to set up.  It has all the capabilities of sharing and downloading.  You can hold the phone up to your ear and record yourself talking or conversing with someone else.  Or you can press the speaker button and record that way as well.  The only thing with the Speaker button, you have to continually hold it.  

When interviewing or adding someone to the podcast you can do it two ways right now.  You can (1.) call the person you want on the podcast before opening a session in Anchor, (2.) you can add a collaborator from the app itself if they are also a member on the app.   Anchor gives you choices of background music you can use for free.  You can save a draft, edit, or add other recordings to your episodes as well.  I have not tried to upload a recording to the app, but my friend has uploaded several of his songs, and the quality is very good.

In my experience with creating podcasts, I had to make sure I had a place where outside noises wouldn’t interfere.  The minute you began to speak, whatever sounds are in your background will be picked up.  Don’t laugh at me, but I record all my podcasts in my closet!  Yes!   I know I wouldn’t have to do this necessarily if I invest in some of the tools I’ve listed above.   I definitely do plan on doing so in the near future.  I really enjoy and have fun with it!  Sometimes I hold the phone up to my ear when I’m doing my  “Conversations With Friends” episodes.  But when I’m doing “ValerieASCENDING”, I hold the speaker button and use earbuds that have a microphone. 

Your podcast are easy to download and turn into Mp3 files.  I have actually turned some of my podcast in to YouTube videos. Anchor will also give you the opportunity to let it share your podcasts to other platforms as well.  Since I’ve started with the app my podcasts have been accessible on the App Store, Spotify, and Cast  just to name a few.  These are the Seven Top Podcast Apps for Mobile Use:

Spreaker Studio






“Audio Recorder” on your cellular device

I sincerely hope this has helped and even motivated anyone who is thinking of starting and creating some type of podcast in the future.  Any questions can be submitted to caressnova@gmail.com.

As always Stay POSITIVE, Stay MOTIVATED, and Be BLESSED!




My Real Life Broken Heart

Hello My Beautiful People!  For the past four years I have been battling and braving one heck of a personal storm!  The above picture is one of many that I have of myself in the hospital.  For those of you that are not familiar with my past I have Congestive Heart Failure.  Congestive Heart Failure is when the heart doesn’t pump blood as well as it should.  It’s the weakness of the heart that can and will build up of fluid on the lungs and surrounding body tissues.  For me the blood that isn’t processed correctly turns into fluid and settles in my belly.  For years I worked out trying to lose my stomach and get it flatter to no avail not understanding the issue was that I actually had a bad heart.  Undetected, my heart became so week that in 2014 I had a heart attack, which is blockage of blood flow to the heart muscle.  

I was placed on two different blood pressure medicines.  One I took for my heart rate, and the other was to control my actual pressure.  For some reason it was hard for doctors to keep my blood pressure under control.  When what I thought was a really bad cold giving me a hard time sleeping turned out to be a heart attack.  Doctors told me if I had forced myself to sleep I would have died.  So they did a procedure called an Angioplasty.  This is a surgical  procedure to repair or unblock a blood vessel, especially a coronary vessel.  The first one I had they went into my left groin.  In August of 2015 I had a second heart attack.  I then had to have a second Angioplasty done.  This one they went through the artery in my left arm.  Both outcomes of the Angioplasties showed no blockage.  Later I had a Nuclear Stress Test, which showed that the front part of my heart was severely damaged.                                                                                                                                   


I was then given a Life Vest to wear until reports were given to an Electrophysiologist.  In the event my heart stopped or I had any arrhythmia, the Life Vest would shock me like a Crash Cart used by doctors.  Heart Failure can lead to other serious health issues such as, Angina and Stroke.  Angina is a type of chest pain caused by the lack of blood flow to the heart.  A stroke is when there becomes damage to the brain from interruption of its blood supply.  Both can leave parts of the body incapacitated.

Eventually I had to have a pacemaker installed.  The Electrophysiologist said that my heart needed 24-hour EMT attention.  A Pacemaker is a device that stimulates the heart muscle and regulates its contractions.  The device generates electrical impulses through electrodes to contract the heart muscles and keep the heart pumping at a steady beat.  So yes they had to cut my chest open!  The device looks like a small MP3 player with a lead.  A slit was cut into my heart and the lead was placed in it.  

It wasn’t until I had the pacemaker installed, came home, and had to set up a device so that my doctor’s office could monitor me, that I realized just how close my brush with death was.  My life totally changed.  I no longer could eat the way I wanted to.  My diet totally changed.  I have to weigh myself every day, I can’t intake more than a liter and a half of any fluid, and it’s extremely hard to lose weight!!  But I am extremely BLESSED to have another shot at life, and I’m extremely GRATEFUL!!  

I want to reach out to as many people as possible about Heart Awareness!  Please stay tuned for upcoming posts as I share with you tips on Healthy Eating and signs of Heart Disease.  

Remember to Stay POSITIVE, Stay MOTIVATED, and BE BLESSED!